Vuntag.

Vuntag is a simple god, he rewards those who follow him with eternal bliss, and punishes those who live even slightly un-moogly lives with eternal and infinite pain.

According to the Book of Vuntag, to live a Vuntagly life you must:
*Persecute left-handed people.
*Wear pink underwear.
*Abstain from pleasant-tasting food.
*Verbally abuse people who disagree with you.
*Watch Steven Segal movies.
*Spend four hours each day drunk.
*Abstain from hats.
*Develop a fear of monkeys.
*Periodically wear honey in your ears.
*Talk in loud whispers during overtures.
*Smoke cigarettes but not cigars.
*Abstain from humor.
*Get really lame tattoos in awkward places.
*Sincerely believe that Vuntag is the fount of absolutely all goodness and wisdom.
*Persecute people who live even slightly differently from you.
*Smile absolutely all the time.

Vuntagists claim that true religious belief is based on faith, which is the persistant holding of a belief in the face of all indications and emotional pressures to the contrary. If you have a feeling that something exists, then it does not require a pure act of will to believe in that thing. Accordingly, if you feel strongly that Vuntag doesn't exist, that should prove to you that Vuntag does exist.
 

---

This Site is Proudly Hosted By: